Some funny moments that would only happen as a cfer (Well maybe :-) )

I been reading a forum post and someone has asked for any funny cf related stories so I thought Id write a few moments that ive experienced


I was once so ill that on admission that the doctor suspected I had a collapsed lung. Concerned at this the doctor recommended I got for a scan and that during the scan they would pump a hot sticky fluid through my iv line as this shows up on the scan and shows any irregularities.
Well the scan was a disaster and to keep the story short whilst pumping the fluid in my line exploded and I ended covered in this syrup and slightly burnt.

Very angry I returned to the ward to complain about my treatment.

Before I could say anything the nurse saw me coming and said to me "Alrite treacle" I genuinely thought she knew what had happened and went mental. IT turns out none of the staff had been told what had happened it was just a mistimed question.


Having a line put in and taken out is a delicate process and is always done by carefully trained doctors and nurses.

Imagine my disbelief then when once whilst having my iv line removed the community nurse said to me we always take them out slowly so we dont bruise you or worst snap the line and cause major damage. At that moment she ripped the protect plaster off my arm holding the line in place taking everything with it. The look of shock in her face when she looked down and saw it had come flying out was priceless.


The bowel chart always causes a good laugh between people in the know.

On the subject of bowels. People with cf know never to go into the toilet after someone with cf has just come out. Unless your looking to collapse or go all fuzzy eyed id give it time if I were you.


Whilst staying in hospital once my mum had come to visit. After a while mum was due to leave. AS she opened the door to leave my room she quickly slammed it shut and came back to me in shick but bursting with laughter. I realized then that mum had been confronted at my door by a completely naked man just showing off his pride and joy


I was once told by a new cf team member doctor that I had been officially classed as fat due to my bmi. Imagine the shock he would have now if he saw ive lost 4 stone. Whats that officially classed as you idiot.


Whilst on the ward one time me and a couple others decided to sneak out for a nandos. Trying to escape the ward quietly we rushed out. One lad who we hadnt invited as we thought he was asleep came running out shouting where you going wait for me. As he all of a sudden decided to run his head yanked back and he went flying legs up in the air and fell onto the floor. Laughing uncontrolably to one another we noticed he still had his oxygen line attached and had snagged it and got yanked backwards. Word to the wise always check your lines.


And last but not least and my favourite,

I was visited by the local cf phyciatrist whilst in hospital last year she had come to have a chat and find out about me and whats going on in my life.
I had literally only just started talking when she collapsed into the corridor knocking over everything in site. After coming around and being helped to her feet no nurses wanted to talk to me as they thought my life must be in ruins if i had made a phyciatrist collapse. I still get laughed at by my cf team whenever this gets mentioned.

I will post more when i remember them