A date to remember 13th march 2013

Today is Wednesday the 13th march 2013, and I'm heading to London on high speed 1

I'm off to the brompton hospital to their cf research department.

Why?

Today is my first gene therapy trial treatment :-)

Now of course I do not know if I will get the drug or the placebo but I'm excited it could be a new chapter in my life.

I'm sat on the train listening to music enjoying the views and having a good think to myself.

I won't know my results for at least 12 months but will I be able to feel it? Won't I?
How will I feel?

Am I really prepared mentally for success better health?

Am I prepared mentally for nothing?

Am I prepared mentally for disappointment?

Truth is I'm sat here with a tear in my eye because I don't know. I always said I'd do anything to help with cf research in anyway I could including sacrificing my health to help others

Why wouldn't I? I'm a small person who wants to help make a big difference.

I've had months to prepare for this but in reality how could I prepare?

It's the unknown and that excites me but I must also face the outcomes.

I've told myself that this trial is just extra doctors appointments to check on my health but deep down I know what it could really be.

I have stepped up my physio as my technique was crap and better prepared my drug routine and have noticed I'm forgetting less and doing more. But that's because I want to make a difference not just to me but to hopefully be part of a future treatment process for many others.

I don't think I need to be ready I just need to be there and do what I'm told.

I'm loving every minute because I know even if it comes to nothing I've at least tried

And I feel very privileged to be part of this

What's the saying

If at first you don't succeed try try and try again.
That's what I will be doing.

No point accepting life for what it is if there's a chance of making it better.

Unfortunately I can't tell anybody how I'm doing I can only say what I've been doing but no words on if I'm better or worse so I will have to keep that side brief on here but will do my best to tell you all what I'm allows to.

Anyway in a few hours time I will start something that will be a big part of my life for the next year or so.

By the time this is over I will be heading towards 30 years of age.

Considering how life was when I was first born that in itself is a milestone for any cfer.

Hers to the future